You can't motorboat a personality
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
