boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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