i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
