my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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