Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
