You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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