This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
