My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
