so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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