I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize