so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
