i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
