My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
