You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it glows. i had to have it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
