party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
