Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize