the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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