i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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