'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
