I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
