So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize