shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
