shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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