she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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