were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
