nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
