I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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