I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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