So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
