At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
