hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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