its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
