i think my tv is drunk
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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