I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
