i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize