Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
