Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
