So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
