I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize