Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
