Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
