Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
