I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
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