I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
