Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
