too bad you live with your parents still
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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