it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
