I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
FUCK WHALES
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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