We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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