What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize