If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
