i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
