Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Your dad touched me again.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
