I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
