so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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