you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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