I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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