he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wish there were birth control emojis
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
