Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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