your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize