What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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