thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
