I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
