Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
