you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
