Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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