he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize
